Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Don.

I have a gentleman at my church named Don. I'm about to hit the eject button on him.

Even though the pastor said, "I don't like kids," he is very jealous of his teaching time for 8th grade confirmation. Pastor teaches for about 45 minutes and then we break into two groups for reflection and discussion. Betty and Dan lead one, Don and I lead the other.

Now, Don is a former commanding officer in the Canadian Navy (we can't deport him, he took the citizenship oath last week). He is really into order and morality. There is a clear way one should do everything - including, and especially, theology. The Bible is clearly a book of rules we should take seriously if we are ever to hammer out the straight and narrow to heaven.

The first week was fine. After the pastor fumbled on "The Salvation Story" (where Jesus comes to get you out of the "Death Camp" and you better reach up and grab His hand otherwise you won't be saved... if I can locate the pamphlet, I'll try to scan it for humor's sake), Don and I broke into our small group. Our discussion was about sin - What is sin. Am I sinful? So I had the kids put a percentage on how much "sin" and how much "good" they each thought they were. We eventually got to realization humanity is 100% sinful with God, in Christ, giving us the title "100% saved" alongside the sinner piece. Don didn't like that too much. So ever since I threatened his Pelagian niceties, Don has taken over the group entirely. He talks over me, He undercuts my questions, and has a horrible habit of essentially damning the kids to a life of fearing God as a big stick. You gossip? It's hell for you. You don't listen to your parents? I hope you don't like the flames. You cheat on a test? No love for you! According to Don, Jesus has left the building. Or is simply a moral superstar of Mary Katherine Gallagher's caliber.

It gets better.

We held a leadership huddle in which I was supposed to present. I titled the study, "Oprah is Not Your Preacher." Everyone seemed to get on the ride with me. Except Don. Apparently telling kids their sins are forgiven in the name of Jesus Christ is a really bad idea. So Don stood up and said, "I'd like to read something out of Scripture:

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.
(1 Timothy 2:11-13)

So how do address that, Vicar? Seems like you shouldn't be doing all this talking in church."

Thank you, Don. A wonderful moment in the life of this ministry. I answered by explaining how Scripture interprets Scripture. The purpose of Scripture is not to be a treasure map or rule book to guide one into heaven. Scripture instead tells the story of how God comes for His people - and He will have them, whether they like it, know they need it, or care. And so even the rules of Scripture are intended to promote those things which give life - to promote this proclamation of God's persistent love to create faith in Him, specifically through Jesus Christ. Because to have faith, is to have real life. Last I checked, my female parts did not get in the way of proclaiming this Word.

Thats right, Don. Jesus loves you too.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Preach it, sister! (remember that Don needs a preacher too!)I'm proud of you.

Rebecca said...

I am just amazed at this guy's audacity and rudeness...but I am even more amazed that your supervising pastor is not doing more to intervene. Maybe he thinks you'll learn something from having to deal with a difficult person? If I come visit you, can I please be in your confirmation group? We can gang up on Don (I hope that's not his real name?) together...it'll be fun!:-)

Amanda said...

We're all lucky it was you and not me - I would have decked him. Yes, you are all right, he needs a preacher, and maybe you can be that for him - you are called to be that for him. But still, I would have decked him.

Unknown said...

Oh mercy... Well, you didn't ask for any advice (my husband would tell you that is NOT a deterrent for me...) - but if this continues, I would encourage you to talk to the pastor about it. Of course, it would be great to talk to Don directly, but I suspect he's not going to be open to hearing from YOU (read: any female) how inappropriate his behavior is. Your authority is being undermined so publicly, and those precious kids being told relentlessly that the flames of hell are licking at their god-forsaken toes. Not to mention - God has to live all this down long after Don has finished with them. None of you deserves that...

Unknown said...

Natalie - I'm a blogging nimrod. I keep forgetting to include my last name so you know who I am - it's me, Susan Masters... (whose brain is apparently dangling over those same licking flames...). Take care, friend!

Christopher Miller said...

Well, this guy needs the Gospel more than any other. The Devil sure knows how to use the Law to his advantage, doesn't he?

Vicky said...

That is just hilarious. You did something, though, that I still struggle with... kill him with kindness. In the sense of not ripping him apart verbally or even "decking" him right then and there. I have had a few run-ins with such people who would be better off shutting their mouths and end up getting me annoyed enough to spit out nastiness (my own fault entirely). Otherwise, I do hope it turns out for good.