Thursday, September 27, 2007

Nursing Homes

Today I had the good pleasure of taking communion to three of our parishioners - one at a nursing home and a married couple shut in at home. I'm not entirely sure I should say "good pleasure," either. Honestly, these visits have me terrified. Specifically, of nursing homes. The first visit was in a nursing home that looked something akin to a dilapidated state college dormitory - replete with mulleted nurses and scroungy looking orderlies that looked like they couldn't wait for their evening romp at the bar. And the people. At least state college students generally look really happy to be in school. These elderly people were sitting on cracked and weathered chairs. Some had their mouths open and looked like they could barely take another breath. Bob Barker reruns, among other trash talk shows, blared loudly down the tacky halls. All of the wizened little Grandmas were hobbling or creeping in wheelchairs down the hall. And the smell. At least hospitals smell sterile. The home smelled strange. Like it just didn't belong. Life here seems like a sentence for having done something "wrong." Like not having exercised enough or being too poor to find a nice home - like those Sunrise homes which look like they belong on the pages of Anne of Green Gables, right?

A lot of these men and women suffer from dementia and Alzheimers. Some have Parkinsons. Most of them have crumpled muscles, unable to scoot them even from one end of the davenport to the other. I visited Agnes and she was just so happy to have a visitor! But she wished she could have a visit - or just communion - a little more often. I can't tell quite why she is "in there." Why was she "sentenced" to life in this dumpy little Indiana building? Its called "Whispering Pines." What a silly name for a nursing home. It reminds me of those "death videos" my CPE hospital would put on in the rooms of the dying. Scenes of nature with elevator music in the background. And then it seemed like such an injustice and almost silly and stupid to turn off that television. As if to say, "shows over, folks! Nothing more to see here! Stay tuned for..."

I couldn't tell if I was afraid of the idea I could end up in one of these places someday. Or that someone I love could end up here. Or that getting old in our culture is to decrease in value to the point that one must be shut away in ugly buildings that the young and vibrant can effectively and comfortably avoid. Sometimes it seems like "getting old" is a disease in our western eyes. No amount of Botox will be able to cure it.

While I visited Agnes and the other couple in their home, I began to think of the disciples arguing about who is the greatest from Matthew 18. Then Jesus puts a little child in the midst of them... any questions?

Matthew 18
1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2 He called a little child, whom he placed among them. 3 And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes a humble place—becoming like this child—is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

I'm wondering if it wouldn't be more appropriate for our day and age to replace that little child with one of the little old ladies from the nursing home. Maybe with Agnes. The disciples wouldn't have wanted to become like little children; children were nothing. They were as good as slaves. Society waited to see if they would be of any use. It would be scary for disciples to think they would be judged on the basis of their worthlessness.

Its not much different today either with these old people. The nursing home is frightening for me probably because it is such a stark reminder that while even a short time ago these ladies were brides, cooking, mothering, running, reading, talking, traveling, going out to eat, playing games, calling friends, playing with grandchildren. They were just like me. They all have had hopes and dreams, and probably still do. But now they are all but forgotten. Sitting on rickety chairs watching Springer - because the orderly turned on the telly and none of the ladies legs can carry them all the way to change the channel. These women live in the humble place. A place of helplessness. The place where today I became most uncomfortable with Jesus placing a wrinkly face in front of me and saying, "see? become like this. This, right here, is the kingdom of heaven." These little old ladies are important because God says they are. They are His daughters. They aren't important because I give them the title or because society believes they are all that great. Look at them... they are shut up in a grungy north Indiana nursing home. But here they are. Jesus preachers speaking loud and clear to me about who and what God values. It's a scary lesson for a young intern pastor with big dreams.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This afternoon while I was going into the church fridge for some cheese and crackers, I found I had to move an entire half a carrot cake to get to the goods. So, as I pulled the cake out (you know, the beautifully decorated leadership carrot cake, complete with fancy icing), the entire cardboard bottom took a nosedive out of its plastic casing. Face down on the floor. I was able to pick it up and it doesn't look like it had such a mishap... but...

So that was my afternoon.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Good Evening

Good Evening -

My very favorite word in the English language is "evening." It has such a smooth, parallel sound to it and reminds me of my favorite time of day.

I haven't posted much in the last week as I have been very busy. Busy visiting, busy writing, busy planning, busy leading and following... and busy discovering why Eugene Peterson understands "busy" as pastoral blasphemy. The way he describes his idea is just about right, however. "Busy" can be a simple excuse to avoid responsibility or to simply look as though one is doing their task. "Busy" for a pastor might also mean allowing others to simply take over his or her schedule - absolving oneself of boundaries. Peterson thinks pastors must have command over his or her daily planner and learn to schedule clear time boundaries around prayer, scripture study, and time with friends and family. That being said...

I've been busy all week. I've been learning how to say "yes" and follow through, and say "no" and make faint attempts at not feeling guilty about it.

A few fun things about the week:

1. Visiting Jim and Ruth at the hospital. Jim was in for a few procedures and he told me loads of great stories. He was the only one in his very extended family who "made it out" without becoming a pastor! He was a teacher and loved every moment of it.
2. Going to the Valparaiso University womens volleyball game (against Central Indiana U.) with a professor and his family (Dr. Mark Bartusch - head of my internship committee). VU won! And to top it off Mark began squinting across the court and said, "Oh! There's Jim and Ruth!" I said, "No way! I was just visiting him in the hospital this morning!" But no - there they were!
3. Really enjoying my new membership at the YMCA. I visit there VERY regularly to experience the joys of sweat and the runners high - as well as the free sauna!
4. The strangest part of this is being called "Vicar." It is apparently my name, now. "Hi, Vicar!" I hear it at the Y, at church, at the grocery... everywhere! Some people in the congregation who I have become close with sometimes hesitantly ask me if they might call me "Natalie" outside of church (of course!). My name is a title. Strange.

And the highlight of this past week was certainly tonights' youth group meeting. The kids are very close to one another and are a great mix of silly and thoughtful. They pick one another up and guide the younger ones with cheers and a gentle hand. We have one boy who deals with some mild form of autism - extremely bright and delayed socially by a margin. While we sang the opening to our worship tonight he perfectly and beautifully - throwing caution to the wind - sang harmonies and support tunes. For a freshman boy who can't sit still... amazing. Everyone in the group was so quick to support him and he was just basking in it.

We closed with "Prayer around the Cross" - a service of candles, scripture and soft song.

It has been a good week - busy in the un-Peterson way, I hope. I'm in for it this week, though! Jerry will be gone, visitations abound, and I've got the whole set of services to plan for next Sunday - baptism and all... !

Thursday, September 13, 2007

My New Home

Welcome to my apartment! I live above the Presbyterians, below four party animals, and have Missouri Synod landlords. This year, I fully expect to increase in holiness due to my proximity to the devout PCUSA and LCMS folks sandwiching me on all ends. I am also quite close to Chicago, which will hopefully encourage some visitors - you, there, in blogland! Just call ahead and I will be happy to host your Chicagoland experience!

(I have wanted to post these photos for about two weeks and had not yet downloaded them from the disk
- so a few minor organizational changes have been made in the meantime.)


Let us embark on El Grande Tour:


Welcome to my living room
Here you will enjoy the baroque Ikea throw and pillows
as well as the maps of exotic places adorning the wall.
The congregation has kindly loaned me a davenport,
two chairs, and a loveseat for the year!


A view from the main room of the dining area,
beautiful gas fireplace, and study (around the corner to the right)
Aren't the windows terrific?


My kitchen


The bat cave - I mean, bedroom


The bedroom head-on


My dear, devoted protester friends who arrive like
clockwork at 8 o'clock on Saturday morning
in front of the courthouse (across the street) to encourage
horn-honking and other crimes of passion at that hour
of the morning.

That concludes our brief tour of the Gessert digs. Stay tuned for more exciting apartment updates as the health department investigates the livability of this abode due to raw sewage gas and other E.coli related concerns...


p.s.
For those of you would like my address, all mail is being sent to the church
(where there is a secured mailbox).
And remember, every vicar loves mail - but few as much as
this vicar... !
I hope to hear from you soon!:

Vicar Natalie
***After Good Inquest and Advice from One Mrs. Jessica NP, this address has been removed***
For further address information, please make requests as a comment on the blog or send me an email!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Late-Breaking News

Moments after my last post and one meeting later, a couple from the church called asking if they could go out with me for the afternoon. I thought, "of course! A great opportunity to 'read my audience'... maybe discover some pastoral care needs, etc...!" They came to pick me up and said, "hey, we're retirees and would really like to take you to a movie before we eat!" I said, "Great! Sounds like fun."

We arrived at the movie theater and they bought tickets to:



Thats right. The adventures of Clive Owen and how he kills 200+ men all while holding a newborn infant (which he delivered) and falls in love with a wet nurse of loose morality.

I must say, after this we ended up having a wonderful time at the restaurant and each of them received a full and complete absolution in the name of Jesus Christ (for sins unrelated to this film!). They really are wonderful people with kind hearts and I'm so blessed by their presence in this congregation. Both are salt of the earth and very concerned with the needs and welfare of their brothers and sisters in Christ... and they knew their sister Natalie needed a trip to Shoot Em' Up!

Gloria Jean, My Queen

My new best friend is the gourmet coffee machine outside of my corner office. Gloria Jean? I'd like to shake her hand! Christ LC has a "Coffering Ministry" in which there is a great little corner full of tasty coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. This is proving mighty helpful in my rush to kick the Diet Cola habit!

This was my second full week of work here in Midwesternia and it was full of bits and pieces. Right now I'm a little frustrated because I feel as though each one of these blog entries should begin with "Dear Diary..." Lots of photos, odds and ends... I'm still trying to create a routine where I have regular visits, responsibilities, etc. I am still in the limbo of learning names in the congregation and prodding the staff to remember I'm here and have a keen desires and need for daily work (see Explanation to the First Article of the Creed). As for learning names, I have discovered that the best fallbacks are "Jim" and "John" or "Karen" and "Kathy." Two Olga's later, and its just about right. Thank goodness for Midwestern simplicity!

As for responsibilities though, strangely enough for a Lutheran church, there are little to no sick or shut-in people, so visitation is at a premium. Thank God for the health of these people! But it seems to leave the staff (myself included) in such a strange position of work beginning only after these healthy, vibrant people get out of work, school, and the laundry list of activities. So now I am left with lots of time during the day to study and put together Bible and catechetical studies, activities, and so on. I also find it strange that one of the jobs of "pastor" seems to simply "be available." But I've never been comfortable with just waiting around. I want to DO something! My jealousy of Luther Seminarians who are back to school today abounds. Hopefully this is my last "Dear Diary-esque" entry, as I have a few ideas of how to pick up a little more this weekgiven new comfort levels.

Until then, here are a few highlights of this past week:

1. Kelsay and Dave came to visit Tuesday afternoon! Chinese food never tastes so good as with them!

2. Choir Practice Kick-off at the pastors house. Jello salad, mac and cheese, pulled pork with a side dish of hymn-sing... need I say more?


3. Confirmation: my favorite part of the week. I have a wonderful, shy, and curious group of 9 8th graders! We talked about what sin actually is and then put percentages on ourselves about how much "sin" and how much "good" we each are - then had a great talk about what confession and absolution is.

4. I was so annoyed at the notion of staying inside for yet another weekend evening, so I grabbed a good book and headed up the road to Pikk's Tavern. My intention was to enjoy a bowl of "Seafood Chowdah" as found on their online menu with a side of beer battered onion rings (has anyone noticed how "food intensive" this blog has been?), but they were clean out! So instead I ordered a bacon cheeseburger, medium rare. When it was delivered I should have realized what I was getting into, especially with steak tartar on the menu. I bit in and it was nearly raw inside. What an AMAZING burger! I'm a little carnivorous when it comes down to it - and too many of those would make me a shut-in before too long with congestive heart failure. But thank goodness for a soft, tasty burger! (I apologize for the description to my vegetarian cousins and friends!).

5. Popcorn Festival: Lastly, a little slice of Americana. I woke up on Saturday morning, grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat by the kitchen window to watch the Home of Orville Redenbacher's Popcorn Parade! Here are a few photos from the parade and the brat stand Christ LC has manned for 29 years and counting (even though I enjoyed my third corndog and pieroshki's from the Catholic booth!):


Get all of your Popcorn Informational
needs met here!

Valparaiso Marching Band


Valparaiso Football Team Pride!
(Brings back oh-so-fond memories of Fairfax HS)


Hot Air Balloon guys who decided the Valpo trees
just weren't that pretty - so why not singe them down a bit?


Fearless Youth Director Tammy dogging the Brat station
and my Confirmation group partner Don bratting the Dog station

For another update... come back in a day or two!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Almost Heaven, Indiana

Although I'm not positive those are the original John Denver lyrics, lets call it "close enough." Even though there are no mountains, the Indiana Walmart in town is highly reminiscent of the WV landscape.

The drive to Indiana was uneventful from St. Paul to Madison. Dad and I stopped to stay with The inimitable Shannyn Magee and her wonderful sister Jenny!


However, the drive from Madison to Valpo should have taken about 3.5-4 hours. Dad and I left at 8am and finally pulled up to Valpo at 6:30pm. Due to major flooding the lanes of I-94 were closed, leaving Dad and I with hours and hours of backup. We finally plowed through Chicago but were rerouted through Gary, IN down unmarked streets and it took another 1.5 hours to go the remaining 15 miles. Navigating Gary is very unpleasant. Below you can see a photo of the welcome sign as well as exit #1. The traffic was so bad these pics were taken at a complete stop.


Upon arrival, however, I was greeted right away by Pastor Jerry Castleman, his dear wife Claudia and the Sanchez family - Ernie, DJ and their remarkably strong son, Tony. We somehow managed to divert traffic on the busy street and move everything upstairs (23 stairs, to be exact, according to Jerry and Dad!) in about an hour. Dad and I stayed with the Castleman's that Saturday night and enjoyed great conversation and a terrific supper! I am very comfortable with Jerry and am increasingly excited for the start of this internship year. During supper he commented: "Above all, I love the laity - they are the most important part of this ministry we have." This is a man to take note of, it seems.

Sunday morning came far too early and I made it, standing, through three services. Christ Lutheran has an 8:00, 9:30, and 11:00 service. This congregation went out of its way to overwhelm me with such a kind welcome. There was a welcome sign at the front door and I was installed publicly at all three services. When I listened to the promises asked of me as well as the congregation, I quickly recognized the gravity of the work of ministry. There is a clear call for me to serve this congregation during the upcoming year and the congregation promised to support and speak into this work. There is immeasurable love and responsibility in these promises.

Yet, every time I become nervous about the future there is a promise from Jesus to hang my hat on. God has provided a clear call for this next year - there is a place, people who God will use to speak love and edification, and hope that there is a life-filled future. As Pastor Judy Bangsund from San Jose, CA wrote: See Exodus 23:20 for guidance - "See I have sent my angel ahead of you to guard you on your way and to bring to the place that I have prepared."

While I'm not sure Indiana is quite what I had in mind, God certainly prepared it! But Judy is another one of those pastors to sit up and listen to - she had a Word for me, so I'll just sit back and take it! So let's see what other promises are yet to unfold... !


Modeling my lovely new alb

The congregation now meets in what was intended to be the gymnasium. They are growing in numbers by the dozen! Here is a photo of the installation taken by Dad - I'm not sure if it was before or after my Mom called and the cell phone went off loudly for all to enjoy! I was having flashbacks of Dr. Haemig giving me the evil eye for inappropriately loud cell phone noise!

P.S. Cheers to the Michel's for joining Dad and I! These dear, longtime friends (who supposedly "changed [my] diapers") came down from Chicago and were just delightful to spend our Sunday afternoon with both at church and over brunch.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Packing-Mania!

...Or should I say "Post-Mania?" While I know you all out there in blogland are anxiously awaiting some deep theological reflecting, most recently life has lent itself to the more earthy and base experience: Moving.

Moving is not a foreign experience for me. My short list includes Minot, Omaha, Ypsilanti, Fairfax, Morfelden (where is the umlaut key?), Roanoke, Bratislava, St. Paul, and Gottingen (again, umlaut please). Throw in Valparaiso and it's a party! But I realize now all of those moves were possible with thanks to [an exhausted] Mom and Dad as well as government-hired movers. No such luck with the ELCA! I packed and packed for two weeks preparing for this move and it culminated beautifully as the photos will testify below.

As I finally to post on the moving experience, I would like to take this altogether-too-brief opportunity to publicly thank all of my dear friends and dear Dad who came together for a day of packing and fellowship.


Dad, Dean, and Norma in a heated discussion about global warming
(after Norma showed off her amazing packing expertise!)

Roy, Jason, and Michael taking a break. Roy had just finished
helping by "babysitting the loo paper" and gathering
the children for "Story Time with Uncle Roy."
Who needs New Testament skills
when you've got people skills like that?

The Oslunds: Doug and Amy with Signey, Simon, and Nora
- such great helpers!
Nora's moving specialty was cookie eating!

More helpers! The irreplaceable Emily Grier who held mountains of boxes from toppling and helpers Katie Grier and Mrs. Renee Kowlessar (married now for two weeks, tomorrow!)

Two other kids, Adam and Carl, just along for the free food!
Pastor Carl is seen here abandoning his regularly scheduled
piety for the lusty pleasures of pizza and beer.

Packer Extraordinaire, Paula - joined by her helper Maggie!
You should have seen that truck...
This move could not have been possible without Paula's Tetris-like genius!

My Spaetzle-Making, Furniture-Lifting, Floor-Cleaning, Belly-Laughing, Creepy-Couple-Same-T-Shirt-Wearing Heroes Dave and Kelsay!

Topped off with my driving hat... It's off to Indiana!


...and three cheers to Dad for driving the Penske! Dad wins the Lifetime Commitment award for supporting his daughter in strange and wonderful ways. Whether buying the extra Diet Coke for us to stay lucid or keeping cool when the traffic is mounting to astronomical proportions, Dad got us through the drive. I couldn't have been blessed with a better Father. Thanks, Dad!