Unfortunately, for Miss Gessert, we at the Democratic National Offices have caught her on camera far from passionate picketing and engaging in suspicious activities which may interest the House Committee on Un-Republican Activities, or HCURA. As you might now, Mr. Cheney is not the only one who has advance Intelligence and Risk Assessment technologies. We have the environment on our side and the whole animal kingdom has been bugged accordingly.
The following photographic record documents the covert environmental activities of Miss Gessert:
Assessing the premises for onlookers and cameras
Finding none, she proceeds in a most un-Republican display of arborial affection
A kiss-and-run, as it were
She believes she has been spotted and makes a run for it
Yet again, with a false sense of security.
The dogwood is the next sufferer of this covert environmentalist rampage
Warned about the Democratic paparazzi combing the region.
Eying with concern...
Not even the dogwoods can save you now, sweetheart...
Such activities will not go without documentation.You know, Miss Gessert, we are certain the Republican party has Pat Robertson-sponsored church programs to de-environmentalize you. They are always there to help in the de-greening process.
Just note that Hillary will always be there with open arms...
waiting...
waiting...
5 comments:
WHERE do you come up with this stuff? This is freakin' hilarious!:-) My dad would probably call your new status being a "commie pinko liberal tree hugger" (he's a character).;-)
This sounds like a ransom demand to those who are starved for some real news from the land of popcorn. So be it: What do you require of us so that Natalie can be released from the bondage of striking?
Well, usually cold hard cash is the traditional ransom. But we at the Democratic Convention (oops, did we just tell you who was holding her captive?) are not interested in your money. We assume that as soon as we are elected to office your cash will become ours in the new glorious Socialist state.
That being said, we will simply demand things symbolic of trade materials: goods and services.
- A 12-pack of Diet Coke
- Stephen Colbert back on the campaign ticket
- A full library set of Pannenberg's theology (for intelligence purposes only)
- A visit made by you to see the Vicar in Valpo. Perhaps your visit will curb her picketing ways.
If you ever want to see your dear Vicar again these things must be accomplished before the end of the Primaries... you never know what Hillary will do with her if you do not make haste with her requests.
Are these demands negotiable? for instance I do not think a full set of Pannenberg's theology could be had at any price. Would you be willing to settle for the "Gospel According to Peanuts"?
Make it Almonds and you've got yourself a deal.
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