Men are from Venus and Girls are from...?

I thought you might enjoy this exercise from last Sundays' Senior High youth group. One of the topics the kids wanted to discuss was "Dating - Christian Style?" So we had an initial activity where guys and girls were separated and they each came up with lists of questions for the other. Then the group reconvened and answered before presenting them to the mixed group. The differences are a trip! High schoolers are such funny creatures... just exploring their little world and making unwittingly true commentary about the rest of us while they are at it.

I color coded everything using the traditional pink/blue (red/blue - its clearer) motif so you would know who is who asking/answering. Enjoy! If you have your own question/answer feel free to submit it in blog comments!
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boys questions for the girls:

1. Why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs or packs?
1. So we can gossip or avoid being gossiped about or to borrow female hygiene items

2. Why do girls buy so many clothing and accessory items?
1. To look good for you. Plus we like shopping and when we shop, we’re bonding with each other.

3. Why do girls cry during movies (chick flicks)?
1. Because they’re sad. And maybe we connect to something that happens.
2. Note: Jessica has never cried in a movie

4. What do girls seriously want?
1. Loyalty. Honesty. Trust. And openness, communication, being yourself, a sense of humor, being a best friend, sensitive (comforting), being up front about ending a relationship. Seriously, don’t cheat. Be a man – its going to hurt to end it, but its better that we know up front

5. Why do girls think they have to be so manipulative?
1. We are afraid to say the trust and don’t want to hurt the other persons feelings.

6. Why do girls call sports ‘stupid’?
1. STEREOTYPING!

7. What is a good first date?
1. Not a movie! Dinner or anywhere public you can talk, like Starbucks or mini-golf – not at a house.

8. Why do girls expect us to know what they are thinking?
1. Because its hard for us to put into words and you rush us and cut us off and we’re afraid of your reaction or rejection.

9. Why do girls expect them to do so many things for us?
1. Not all girls expect to be waited on! But we expect courtesy and respect. We want you to be a gentleman. Compliments are greatly appreciated.

10. Why are girls such whiners (a general statement – not all are)?
1. We’re just more verbal than you are. Whining is sometimes just trying to keep conversation going and break the silence because you won’t talk.

11. If you could be a transformer, what would you transform to?
1. Not Megatron

12. What do you like most about guys?
1. Eyes, hair, smile, height (we like taller than us), shoulders. But those things are only part of it. We also like gentle boldness, a sense of humor, being willing to talk, being yourself, treating you like a friend, intelligence, and being able to hold a good confident conversation.

13. What do you dislike most about guys? (pet peeves)
1. Egotistical, treating you differently around their male friends,

14. What is the purpose of playing mind games with guys?
1. Some girls think they have to do that to keep it interesting and to keep you around.

15. Why do some girls hold grudges for so long?
1. Our emotions are more easily hurt and your lack of communication keeps the problem going. Girls want guys to realize what they did.

16. Why are girls so mean to each other?
1. Some are competing for guys’ attention because of their own insecurities.

17. If you could only have three things on an island what would they be?
1. Music
2. Physical Activity (like a ball)
3. Chocolate

18. If you were in any Star Wars movies would you be a Sith lady or be a Jedi lady? Would you join the empire or the rebels?
1. Rebels!

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girls questions for the boys

1. Why do guys take so long to make the first move? Why do they refuse to be leaders? Are they waiting for a signal, and if so, what is it?
1. Because we are supposed to know what you are thinking but we don’t. We are afraid of being rejected. Good signals are having conversations and giving eye-contact.

2. Why are guys secretive about their feelings?
1. We are NOT! Why are you not more observant?

3. Why do guys ask your opinion and feelings and then they get upset with the answer?
1. You don’t answer the question the way we wanted you to or just avoid it.

4. Why do guys act so macho?
1. We want to impress girls and we don’t know how to do it

5. Is it ok if a girl doesn’t do her hair and makeup?
1. YES! (is it okay we don’t??)

6. What does a girl need to do to get noticed?
1. Be yourself, talk, and wear good perfume. Be outgoing.

7. Are guys as worried about their looks as girls are?
1. No. We don’t wear make-up and we shave our heads.
   
   
8. Do guys have a problem with girls driving?
1. No, if you don’t crash or multi-task.

9. Do guys always want to pay on a date or do they think they have to? What about the King of Hearts Dance?
1. We think we have to pay. It doesn’t seem like a date if you split the cost. For King of Hearts, it should be on an individual basis – talk about it.

10. Why do guys use girls sexually? Why do guys like girls who dress provocatively?
1. It is genetics – physical appearance is more important to guys than girls.

11. Do guys realize when girls are two-faced?
1. Yes! And we dislike it. With a fiery passion.

12. What are guys’ biggest worry when impressing girls? What do guys think impresses a girl?
1. Rejection or failure.
2. Guys trying to be funny and strong (macho).

13. Are guys interested in a relationship or just dating?
1. Depends on the guy and the girl. It’s high school. Its not life or death.

14. How would guys feel about a girl asking them out? Does it bother guys if a girl calls? What’s the biggest turn off that a girl can do?
1. Awesome, fine.
2. No, unless it’s repetitive and/or late at night.
3. Bad smell, high pitched voice, two personalities, manipulative/melodramatic

15. Why do guys like girl on girl action?
1. Because its hot and 2x the fun.

Yee-Haw!

We had Country-Western Family night at the church and I thought I'd play the part nicely... fit right in with the kids during line dancing! Like the pigtails? This is part of a new ministry to get families involved with one another in their home vocations.

Enjoy the photos!

Joy

My dear Jeni Falkman was proposed to this evening by her Colin Grangaard.
From what I understand, she said yes...!

This is a coupling of two best friends and their marriage will be a blessing not only for them, but for all of us surrounding them.

Cheers to Colin and to my Sister From Another Mister!

Jeni on the first day of seminary (2003)

My sister from another Mister

Jeni and Colin

p.s. Jeni - I hope you don't mind I jacked two out of three pics from your Facebook. I didn't have a copy of our twin pics! Do you have it??

Yael Naim - New Soul

It is a beautiful Israel singer named Yael Naim singing her "New Soul." I think there are a number of really beautiful theological/blessing images in there. If you need to
read the lyrics alongside go to this site:

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/y/yael_naim/new_soul.html

One of the ways I understand the life of faith is that we are simply
getting used to our new bodies of freedom, gifted to us by God. When you are captured in His promises, it is not so much that sin is taken from you, but that you are taken out of sin. You are a "new soul"
trying to find your way in this world, no longer claimed by sin, death, and the devil.

Utterly delightful. If you like Naim, check it her CD on iTunes and you can find the rest of her work with lots of her music in Hebrit.
Hope you enjoy! I thought you might appreciate it.

Yes, yes, it is definitely chickie muzak as my dear friend Jake would say! I may not be as music savvy as my dear Jeni Falkman is - and my powers of description fade in comparison (Jeni, would you like to write something here? - I won't pay you, but you can have the publicity!). And yes, I know this is popular and somewhat kitschy as a result. But I'm in love and I thought you could fall into the joy alongside me.

Cheers!

The Wisdom of Pat

Pat is my dear parishioner who is not only struggling with Alzheimers', but after his recent kidney operation, the doctors discovered he has six months or less to live due to end-stage malignant, malicious body-wide cancer. I visited him this evening and was so glad to have worn my collar because he recognized the office immediately. He held on to my hand and did not let go. I gave him a little back rub and he kept making sounds of relaxation - thank God for touch!

I am posting this not only to ask for prayers for him, but also to share one of the most insightful quips of the week:

Pat's Wife: Okay, Pat. You behave yourself for the nurses!
Pat: Why?

Valparainsnow Windyana

I have no photo elements to todays post, but it has been a bit too long and I thought it would be a good time to post.

Jerry seems to think I may make it through an entire year without ever having to do a funeral. He might be right - and even though the practice may be good, I'd rather do mock-ups with a plastic dolly than play with the fates of the people here. But I've become concerned at the prospects now that we are barreling into February. Apparently people stick it out through the holidays and then choose January to become ill. Colon cancer appears to be the most popular choice. Some of it may be conscious, some of it not. But it seems that quite a few bodies have declared all out war on their owners.

When I first arrived here in Valparaiso (often referred by yocals as the "Vale of Paradise") I did the obligatory round of visits. Hospitals, shut-ins, and my beloved nursing homes. Of course I believe visitation is a good and necessary part of ministry. All Christians, with or without a seminary education, are called to pick up the mantle of ministry and visit the homebound and infirm. There is no two bones about it: human contact makes the healing - or even the dying - a little less lonely. But as the year progresses there is something much less rote about the visits. There is not the sense that I am simply going to sit by a bedside, listen and hold a hand, then say a prayer and hand over the Gospel, then go home to a nice cup of tea.

Now, I know these people. Their faces follow me home and invade my personal prayer time. There is magnetism that draws me back to the hospital without the instructions from Jerry to go. There is a lot of pain to see these dear people hurt and cry. The prayers become closer and less like a preplanned laundry list - and sometimes I have to choke down and act like the staid Norwegian I'm not.

My dear Vickie is in the hospital. And Pat... and Weivel... Witey... Gary... Crystal... Dan... Bob... and Lois. Roger is still busy dying and Dolores is still there with him. I hate that. I hate that these bodies are revolting against the dear people I love and making it difficult to visit and pray.

Ministry is nothing like a 9-5. I take the "work" home and to my bedside and am still unsure how to "leave it at church." Much of me does not care to leave it at church because to do so would seem so callous. There is something comforting about telling Vickie that I was thinking about her yesterday - and really having done it - and wishing there were something supernatural about that. Perhaps some of her pain was somehow taken because of it. I know science doesn't work that way - but wouldn't it be great if it did?

I was studying scripture this morning and came across this Psalm (27) and thought it be a good rallying cry for these sicknesses that seems to be all-consuming. Not only does it address the evil that seeks to devour (the cancer...diabetes... Alzheimer's... etc.) but it puts some confidence in the hearer about what will happen to the attacker. It relates well to this weeks' Gospel text where Jesus says "follow me" (Mt 3:12-24). Many preachers this Sunday will try to preach this as an invitation but I think it ought to be preached as a command: "No really... follow me... I'm not kidding... Oh? You think you have a choice?" It is Jesus who wills that you trust God is interested in and cares about kicking all these illnesses into the ground (being cancer to the cancer, chemo to the chemo, and finally death to death). And it is God's strength that will provide the unimaginable trust necessary to get my dear parishioners and friends through their treatments, surgeries, stays in bed and anything else that comes

So get busy reading this Psalm - it will help you learn to thumb you nose at the devil. "Oh really Satan... and WHOM shall I fear?? Certainly not YOU! My God is advancing against anything you put in my path and you will never win." And then in the good words of Luther for those struggling with colon cancer and other illnesses, turn and fart in the devils' face. Because it is in the good and holy work of breaking wind that will not only drive the devil away, but make him afraid because already the cancerous bowels are returning to health and life - Ha!

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Psalm 27
(Of David)
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
      whom shall I fear?
      The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
      of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me
      to devour my flesh, [a]
      when my enemies and my foes attack me,
      they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,
      my heart will not fear;
      though war break out against me,
      even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
      this is what I seek:
      that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
      all the days of my life,
      to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
      and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble
      he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
      he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
      and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
      above the enemies who surround me;
      at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
      I will sing and make music to the LORD.

7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
      be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [b] face!"
      Your face, LORD, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,
      do not turn your servant away in anger;
      you have been my helper.
      Do not reject me or forsake me,
      O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
      the LORD will receive me.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
      lead me in a straight path
      because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
      for false witnesses rise up against me,
      breathing out violence.

13 I am still confident of this:
      I will see the goodness of the LORD
      in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
      be strong and take heart
      and wait for the LORD.

Trip Home to Minneapolis-St. Paul

I know, I know. Too many pictures, too little writing. But this will be the last big photo run I will post for awhile. Don't get me wrong: I'll post. Just not with gobs of photos. There are lots of you who will appear here, so I hope you enjoy your blog debuts - and for some of you, return appearances!

On my first stop after staying at the Parker Plaza (Yes, only the trendiest of Hotels on the Sandgren Strip) I turned south on 35 only to stop in Northfield to visit my dear friends, the Pleuss-Nelson family! "Family" used to consist of the happily married Jessica and Andy until just about two weeks ago when Simon finally joined in the fun! Jess endured many hours of labor until 8lb12oz Simon Jacob arrived. Wow. A lot of power for one slender lady!

Baby Simon yawning


Baby Simon doing a "One-Eyed Jack"


The best gift Simon will ever have: Andy and Jess as his Mama and Daddy

Happy Daddy! Simon has his nose!

Happy Mama!

Now it is on to the next stop: a visit to friend Pastor Jason Burggraff in Sioux Falls, SD!

His new house - can you see Burgge playing cello in the front window?



Jason at... you guess it: SIOUX FALLS!


The Right Reverend in the Good Lords' nave


Jason and his buddy Alex

Back to the Sem for MID-WINTER CONVOCATION! Somewhere between Rolf Jacobson questioning whether he was the academician or eye-candy (as opposed to Dave-O Lose) and late night beer runs to Ole Chicago's, I found myself elevated to the 9th levels of paradise. But of course, as a Lutheran, I felt a little guilty about the great time I was having and translated a Greek text for recompense.

A beautiful snowy evening at Luther


Carleton and Kris


Paula and David smiling like it is their 8th grade prom photo
(and they think its funny to do it every time you try to take their picture!)


Stewbert and Natalie
(can you believe how incredible he looks?!)


Stew, may I please have your top Concord responses to this question:
What is Natalie doing in the above photo?
(p.s. for all of you readers who might not have witness the glory of my lactose intolerance, no, I am not 5 months pregnant!)


Stew making smooth moves on Necia


For those of you who have never experienced the sheer joy of Carl's laugh...
The only point of this clip is for you to hear him laugh!


A big Carleton hug!


Nat, Jason, Carl, and John Karl Ahola (he loves pureed Mac'n'Cheese with a pretzel chaser)


David and Paula with a real smile!

Friday table talk with Uncle Roy and Aunt Norma:

Uncle Roy explaining the difference between the capital and lower case 'E'
**for an incredibly funny photo of Uncle Roy, feel free to email me - I've got one that is "unpostable"!)

The "Last Lunch" with David and Paula at Old Chicago's. Thai Pie anyone??

Having to deal with their revolting displays of affections...
After Paula attends her 2-week J-term on the Pine Ridge Indian reservation I expect she will be making eyes at the earth, wearing beads, and falsifying native traditions with her ROLO friends.

Supper at Michael and Katherine's!

Katherine always sets out the special red plate - It makes me feel so good!


The 5-Star chef - She made a REALLY yummy chicken dish with quinoa and sesamed asparagus stalks!! Wow! Katherine and Michael made the tiramisu together.

Katherine and Michael at the witching hour before I left

A Very Temperate Christmas

Soon I will add some text, but while I am busy putting away all of things from Christmas travels, I thought I'd add a small album of celebration photos. I hope your Christmas was as delightful and full of joy as mine!

Christmas at Uncle Johns' in Michigan. The tree, hearth, table, and everything about the setting was perfect. I am so lucky to have family like this! I woke up to my excited little cousins, received a very helpful explanation about the nature, use, and value of "Webkinz" from my youngest cousin, Julia, watched my Uncle set up the Polly Pockets racing set... so many fun toys to play with! One of the highlights was a framed pastel drawing my cousin Ellen made for Uncle John of Jack at The Cottage. She is very talented and this is just a taste of more to come from her!

Cousin Jack is a particularly lovely Christmas present...!


Cousin Ellen and I showing off our matching stitches!


Cousins Emma, Kim, and Julia


Ellen lighting the candles at the table

My dear Grandma looking especially beautiful this Christmas

Emma and Julia regaling us with carols

Cooper taking a long winters' nap

The whole family gathered for the karaoke version of Guitar Hero -until you have seen your Grandma sing Coldplay and "Love Shack," you haven't lived...!


Catching up with NEWLY APPROVED PASTOR KELSAY PARKER and her husband Dave in their swanky Coopermobile!

On To Virginia:
I'm not so sure people should be allowed to have this much fun over Christmas vacation! I had a wonderful time with Mom, Dad, Brothers, and Grandma, as well as caught up with dear friends from both High School and Grad School!

A day back at Christ Lutheran, Fairfax:

Preaching on 30. Dec

Grandma and the boys in the pews
There is a baby boom at our church!

Monica with her daughter Cassandra and new baby Emma
New members with their baby twins!


Alice
Judy and Lynn Boerger (I really missed their Christmas party this year)

A sleepover with Stephanie Johnson:

Pastor Johnson looking cheery in her Christmas reds,
drinking rich, tasty Stephanie-made Hot Cocoa!

The most comfortable bed I slept in throughout the entire vacation, exclusively from Spa Stephanie!

Pastor Johnson in her church sanctuary!

Family Tradition: New Years at Esposito's!
Calamari's, the boys' eating pizza, red and white house wine, marinated carrot salad, and the 60 year old Italian waitress/owner hitting on Dad...!

Neighbors Karen and Bill

The boys looking very manly for the New Year

Cindy and I

Jonathan!

Derek!

Grandma!

High school friend Jake and I headed to the Italian Embassy for New Years!

Bill and Pat Rodio
Pat has been my self-appointed boyfriend since 2nd grade. Whenever he has met a date of mine he always grabs them by the arm or the collar (whichever is closer) and says, "she's mine - hurt her and I'll break your knees!" Nothing like a good mafia connection to keep the neighborhood chicks safe...!

Mr. Rodio reading his hand-written and very funny poem!
I will try to procure it for you, dear reader

At home on New Years Day:
We always have a bowl of Dad's special Mushroom-Artichoke Soup and this year he also made wings and baked brie - yum!

Derek and I celebrating

The whole family with their wings!

Our family Christmas tree

Back to Michigan...

The Sidetrack: #1 Hamburger in the country, according to GQ


A Winter Wonderland